When God Breaks My Heart: A Reflection on Suffering

In a moment,
all that I loved on this earth
was taken away.

Not because of sin
or the actions of another –
simply because He gave a command and I obeyed.

The cost of obedience is high,
but there was no other option than to follow the One I loved –
to follow Him into loneliness, heartbreak, and loss. 

And now,
when God breaks my heart,
do I still love Him?

Do I still trust Him when it hurts,
when everything I ever loved was ripped from me,
and when He was the cause of the pain?

Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him.

Is God still good,
though this trauma comes from His hands,
though He alone has broken and He alone can heal?

Do I still believe
in the loving kindness of a God
who brings pain?

He has torn us, but He will heal us.

Could it be
that the things I loved
were actually keeping me from Him? 

Could it be
that He had to break my heart
so that He could enter in? 

Could it be
that the only way to be like Jesus
is to be broken as He was? 

What if
He had to take it all away
so that I would trust in Him alone?

What if
He had to bring pain
because He is good?

What if
He had to break my heart
because He loves me? 

And what if
the only way to be fully alive
is to be broken and poured out, as He was? 

You are good and do good; teach me Your ways.

Scripture Quoted: Job 13:15; Hosea 6:1; Psalm 119:68

Ready to go further?

The Membership is designed to help you grow step by step in playing worship piano from a heart of worship and love for Jesus—learning chords, progressions, patterns, and full songs in a way that helps you play more freely and confidently.

If you’d like to go deeper into the heart of worship, you can also explore my book Adoration: Loving Jesus as Our Highest Calling.